She is going through many changes right now and an unplanned pregnancy can leave you both feeling overwhelmed, scared, depressed, and upset. You might just feel powerless in a society that says “it is her choice, not yours.” The truth is, any decision about a baby affects everyone involved. This is a time to speak up and team up with her, otherwise you might end up getting shut out. Doesn’t it make sense that you make a decision together? After all, it is your unborn child too.
Before any decisions are made, there are several things you should do:
Step 1: Decide to take responsibility, partner up with her and speak up.
- Be a strong voice for her and the child. Before she decides alone, the two of you can decide together. She may be afraid of having to do things alone and losing out on the future she wants with you. Sometimes people facing a difficult decision try to please others and end up hurting themselves in the process.
Step 2: Determine to know the facts and choose your best future.
- Men have a tendency to think that being supportive means they have to keep their emotions to themselves. Many make the mistake of leaving the decision up to their partner alone. You have a right to know all of the facts too.
Step 3: Dedicate yourself to supporting her.
- Be a voice for her at a time when she may not know what to do. Simply start by asking her to talk about the situation so that you can figure it out together.
- Listen well and remain gentle and calm in your tone. Even if she is angry or upset, remain in control. She will be more likely to feel heard and respected.
- Tell her exactly how you will support her. She can no doubt handle the situation alone, but having a strong and supportive man by her side will make the situation much easier.
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